Category: Getting better

Making a painful day a good day…

On By Deb McNallyIn Bad day, Getting better, Pain, Relax, SmileLeave a comment

Woke up this morning with my back out of whack. I’ve had so many times when this would have me grumbling and pouting and being mad at the world. My depression on these days was horrid. So glad I’m not in that place any more. Got up this morning and made the decision to make the day work anyway. I chose to feel good about the day even with the pain. Even in depression you have the choice to try to feel even a little better or to dwell in the pain. I choose better.

I did have a big smile that the universe also decided to show me I was on the right path. One of my favorite podcasts and coaches sent out an email about this very subject.

Turning around a bad day

I smiled as I knew it was meant for me to share with all of you. If you haven’t heard of them check it out. These ladies are awesome and will make you laugh and learn.

Hope you have a blessed day! What do you do to turn a bad day around? Leave me a comment below.

My pic is what I decided to do. I play with my puppy. He makes everyday wonderful.

Abuse is never ok and not always visible…

On By Deb McNallyIn Bad day, Depression, Fear, Get help, Getting betterLeave a comment

I mentioned a couple posts ago about how I was so depressed I was in a ball every day at the same time. I didn’t know then that I was actually being abused. Abuse is not always physical or even something you can see. Sometimes it’s verbal. It’s the words that are shouted at you. When every word you hear behind closed doors tell you how awful you are. That you’re an awful person. An awful mother. And so many swear words. That you’ll never go anywhere because of what will happen if you do. It’s hard. So hard. And you try to hide it from your family. Especially your children.

Please if you are going through this or know someone that is please reach out and get help. You can escape. It may not be easy. But you can live again. You can get your life back. Don’t let anyone take it out on you.

I’m proof that you can survive. I pray this post reaches the person that needs to hear/read this.

Lazy Saturday…

On By Deb McNallyIn Getting better, Relax, SmileLeave a comment

Sometimes you just need time to relax and regenerate. Today is that kind of day. Teddy and I are hanging out listening to some nice music. Took a nap just because. And are just having a pleasant day hanging out together.

How are you spending your day? Don’t forget to take some time for you. Sometimes you need a break.

See you soon.

Looking back…

On By Deb McNallyIn Bad day, Depression, Fear, Get help, Getting betterLeave a comment

Sometimes you need to reflect on where you’ve been to see how far you’ve come. I’m sharing this story of one of the worst periods of my life to show you what can be overcome.

At the time I had found out some pretty terrible things were going on and I bottled it up inside me where even I couldn’t find it. This is the time just before I had those memories come back to me. I felt something was very very wrong but didn’t know for sure what it was. Psychologists will tell you that your mind is very good at protecting you from things that you can’t handle. Mine definitely did that.

Without knowing why, every day around 2-3pm I would start shaking uncontrollably. I’d be angry and sad and enraged and terrified all at once. I knew enough to tell my kids to go. Go outside to play or go to my friend’s house up the street. By the time 2:30 came around I was shaking so hard like the world was about to crumble at my feet and I didn’t know what was scaring me. Every single day for weeks this went on and every single day I would end up curled into a little ball (fetus position according to doctors) on a stool in my kitchen. And then my husband would come home from work.

He would ask where the kids were and I’d mumble an answer and slowly, ever so slowly I’d come out of the ball and do wife things like make dinner. I felt like a robot. I don’t even remember how I moved. But I knew I had to. I needed to take care of my babies. All I knew was I needed to keep them safe. Not sure why or how. I just did. And that’s what I did every day until the marriage ended.

I truly don’t know if this lasted 2 weeks or 3 months. I just know it happened every day like clockwork.

I’m here to say I’m alive. We made it through that time. It wasn’t easy it wasn’t fun and once my memory came back it was pretty close to hell on earth. But today we are alive and well and so so much better.

Sharing because you need to know. You need to know life can go on. Life can get better. And YOU are good enough. You will survive. And YOU can flourish in life. I’m so glad we escaped. Hang in there. And get someplace safe if this is you. Please call for help. You may not know why (I didn’t) but just get out and get help!

I ask the Lord to bless and protect each and every person that reads this. Please keep them safe.

Happy birthday to us

On By Deb McNallyIn Depression, Getting better, Happy, Joy, Wellness2 Comments

Since my mother passed many years ago I have always wanted to ignore my birthday. You see I was her birthday present. So for me it just didn’t seem the same without her. And being in a deep depression for so long having our birthday seriously just made it so much worse as I miss her dearly even after all this time.

This year I’m in a much better place emotionally so I’m planning on it being a better day. I’m even planning things to do. I never wanted to do anything and always felt annoyed while thankful when others did something.

Tomorrow I’m spending the day with one of the most wonderful gifts the Lord has given me. My sweet grandson. And as an extra blessing we may get a visit from a few of our other favorite people.

It’s been a long time since I looked forward to my birthday. Here’s to us Mama and the blessing of sharing a birthday with two wonderful women! Yup 2! It’s also my father’s mother’s birthday. Miss you too Grandma. Here’s to enjoying the day and spending it having fun with my little buddy.

Have a wonderful day. Time to make new memories in honor of past wonderful memories. ❤️

Some days…

On By Deb McNallyIn Bad day, Depression, Getting better1 Comment

Some days you just wake up and really wonder if there is a 'wrong side of the bed'. This morning I swear I found one! Every little thing went wrong! I was so frustrated and upset that I couldn't decide if I wanted to scream or cry. Pretty sure if another bad thing happened this morning I could have snapped.

I'm really not sure what happened. Just wake from a dream of saving the world from nazi aliens (don't ask me how I could tell but that's what they were… yes WEIRD!) and started my day with just one thing after another going bad. The short list: order got screwed up that was supposed to run overnight, water heater decided not to work (turned out it had an error message so easy fix thankfully), made a pit stop that should take 5 minutes and instead it took 20, forgot the salsa to go with my lunch, need I go on?

Just so glad that things did get better. I try to be pretty positive, but today really pushed me to the limit. Been there? Hang in there. It can and will get better.

Note to Self: reread this the next time you have one of those days!

Noticeable difference…

On By Deb McNallyIn Depression, Getting better, Happy, Joy, Smile, WellnessLeave a comment

Today I went to a birthday party for a sweet little girl that I've loved dearly since the day she was born. The interesting part of today was the realization to myself at how different I felt while at the party. Her party has been in this same place many times. She loves it there! But the difference wasn't just the age of the sweet little girl, she's growing up way too fast, the difference was I felt great being there!

So in the past I went because I love going and spending time with family and friends for the party. No doubt about that. But at the same time I was in such a deep depression that it took everything in me to make it through the day! If you've ever been depressed you know what I mean. It almost feels like you are walking through cement. You push and push and put on a happy face. You want to have fun your body is fighting you constantly.

Today was SO different! I had a blast! My heart was full of joy and happiness. I feel so blessed to finally be coming out of my depression!

This also reminded me of the fact that so many had tried to help me through these days. I really think I survived some of them only through their support and the joy in the little girls face. She definitely loves her auntie. And her auntie loves her too.

So blessed. You are too. Chin up. You can do it. We all can! My prayer is that some day you have a day of realization like I had today when you truly feel the happiness of yourself and the ones around you. You can and you will. Have faith.

Truth…

On By Deb McNallyIn Depression, Getting better, Meds, WellnessLeave a comment

I was so excited to get off my meds for the first time in years. It seems that life and my body disagree with me that it was time. Instead of coming off completely I've been able to reduce them. That's still a huge step for me. And I am truly grateful that I have a supportive doctor that listens to me. I realized how awful I was feeling on my 'off' days and called them and said nope seems I'm not ready to be completely off them yet.

You definitely need to listen to your body when reducing medication even with doctor supervision. If I had just continued on even though I was sick and still feeling off/down emotionally I wouldn't be in the good place I am right now. So this post is to remind you AND me to listen to your body. It does know what it needs. Mine needs a little less antidepressants and my Thrive. I feel so great now. I love feeling energy and not feeling depressed. I truly forgot how this felt.

How are you feeling? What is helping you? Leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you. And want to know if my blog is helping you too.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Thankful for Unanswered Prayers

On By Deb McNallyIn Depression, Getting better3 Comments

Many years ago I was in such a horrible place emotionally. We lived in a town next to the railroad tracks and this day I thought I just couldn't take it any more. I was in a horrible marriage with a man that wasn't the man I thought he was (he was actually worse than I knew at this point) and a drug addict (I didn't want to believe it) that was making it nearly impossible to pay our bills or keep our apartment. We had recently lost our house and cars and I just didn't think it was worth another day.

I walked along those railroad tracks praying for a train to come. It never came and I finally went back home to my babies. So glad that train never came. My babies needed me even more than I knew at the time. Please remember you aren't alone. We have all had horrible days that you may never know about. I've never told anyone, until now, how bad it was that day. How truly dead I felt.

So glad that God doesn't always answer prayers. Especially ones like this. Kiss those kids one more time and know that He is watching and is there even if he doesn't answer right away.

🙏🏻Praying that this reminds you that you are loved and that it touches your heart.🙏🏻

Withdrawal Symptoms

On By Deb McNallyIn Depression, Getting betterLeave a comment

Today's post was supposed to be a look back to one of my first memories of truly thinking I wanted to be done. But it seems someone had another plan. As I mentioned in an earlier post I'm in the process of coming off my medication, with doctor approval and assistance. But OMG! It totally SUCKS!

I'm glad I had pre-written my post for Tuesday as I was so sick. Sick to my stomach all day. I seriously slept most of the day. Between that and dry heaves. I am/was following doctors orders on how to come off my meds as we both agreed that I'm able to now. The problem is that I'm on such a high dose of an extended release med that my system was NOT happy that it was missing! Sick to my stomach, felt like an allergy flare up (in August?) and just feeling overall lousy! I was so hoping it would only take a few days but no. It's going to take much longer to get off these meds. Not because I need them but because my body is used to them and wants them. So back to every other day for now. At least I wasn't sick with that.

Moral of the story: when it's time to change your medication after 20 years don't expect it to happen quickly. Especially if you were on something strong. So glad to know I'll feel better tomorrow when I wake up.

Weirdest part: feeling mentally/emotionally great while at the same time your body says HELL NO! Give it BACK! 😷

Take care and know that we can and WILL survive depression! There's a reason you're here and you ain't done yet!