Missing pieces…

First off, yesterday was an awesome birthday one of the best I’ve had in years. I think there are a few things that come into play.

  • My depression is mostly at bay for the first time in years
  • I had a wonderful call from my fiancé where he sang me Happy Birthday and O tried to sing with him
  • My grandson came over to spend the weekend (he always makes me smile)
  • A wonderful group of friends and family came over and surprised me with lunch out and my favorite carrot cake YUM!

There were definitely some missing puzzle pieces to the best possible day. My kids were all working or far away and my fiancé was many many miles away.

Here is hoping that next year is even better. All it’ll take is a few less miles and some time with my babies.

So thankful for the amazing day yesterday!

❤️❤️❤️

Happy birthday to us

Since my mother passed many years ago I have always wanted to ignore my birthday. You see I was her birthday present. So for me it just didn’t seem the same without her. And being in a deep depression for so long having our birthday seriously just made it so much worse as I miss her dearly even after all this time.

This year I’m in a much better place emotionally so I’m planning on it being a better day. I’m even planning things to do. I never wanted to do anything and always felt annoyed while thankful when others did something.

Tomorrow I’m spending the day with one of the most wonderful gifts the Lord has given me. My sweet grandson. And as an extra blessing we may get a visit from a few of our other favorite people.

It’s been a long time since I looked forward to my birthday. Here’s to us Mama and the blessing of sharing a birthday with two wonderful women! Yup 2! It’s also my father’s mother’s birthday. Miss you too Grandma. Here’s to enjoying the day and spending it having fun with my little buddy.

Have a wonderful day. Time to make new memories in honor of past wonderful memories. ❤️

Thankful for Unanswered Prayers

Many years ago I was in such a horrible place emotionally. We lived in a town next to the railroad tracks and this day I thought I just couldn't take it any more. I was in a horrible marriage with a man that wasn't the man I thought he was (he was actually worse than I knew at this point) and a drug addict (I didn't want to believe it) that was making it nearly impossible to pay our bills or keep our apartment. We had recently lost our house and cars and I just didn't think it was worth another day.

I walked along those railroad tracks praying for a train to come. It never came and I finally went back home to my babies. So glad that train never came. My babies needed me even more than I knew at the time. Please remember you aren't alone. We have all had horrible days that you may never know about. I've never told anyone, until now, how bad it was that day. How truly dead I felt.

So glad that God doesn't always answer prayers. Especially ones like this. Kiss those kids one more time and know that He is watching and is there even if he doesn't answer right away.

🙏🏻Praying that this reminds you that you are loved and that it touches your heart.🙏🏻