Abuse is never ok and not always visible…

I mentioned a couple posts ago about how I was so depressed I was in a ball every day at the same time. I didn’t know then that I was actually being abused. Abuse is not always physical or even something you can see. Sometimes it’s verbal. It’s the words that are shouted at you. When every word you hear behind closed doors tell you how awful you are. That you’re an awful person. An awful mother. And so many swear words. That you’ll never go anywhere because of what will happen if you do. It’s hard. So hard. And you try to hide it from your family. Especially your children.

Please if you are going through this or know someone that is please reach out and get help. You can escape. It may not be easy. But you can live again. You can get your life back. Don’t let anyone take it out on you.

I’m proof that you can survive. I pray this post reaches the person that needs to hear/read this.

Withdrawal Symptoms

Today's post was supposed to be a look back to one of my first memories of truly thinking I wanted to be done. But it seems someone had another plan. As I mentioned in an earlier post I'm in the process of coming off my medication, with doctor approval and assistance. But OMG! It totally SUCKS!

I'm glad I had pre-written my post for Tuesday as I was so sick. Sick to my stomach all day. I seriously slept most of the day. Between that and dry heaves. I am/was following doctors orders on how to come off my meds as we both agreed that I'm able to now. The problem is that I'm on such a high dose of an extended release med that my system was NOT happy that it was missing! Sick to my stomach, felt like an allergy flare up (in August?) and just feeling overall lousy! I was so hoping it would only take a few days but no. It's going to take much longer to get off these meds. Not because I need them but because my body is used to them and wants them. So back to every other day for now. At least I wasn't sick with that.

Moral of the story: when it's time to change your medication after 20 years don't expect it to happen quickly. Especially if you were on something strong. So glad to know I'll feel better tomorrow when I wake up.

Weirdest part: feeling mentally/emotionally great while at the same time your body says HELL NO! Give it BACK! 😷

Take care and know that we can and WILL survive depression! There's a reason you're here and you ain't done yet!